Why Do I Bother?

“How big is your wiener?” I actually said this to the girl at the food booth at Costco today. Let me explain …

My boss let me in on this game that he plays with his son a while back. The object is to get the other person to say or do something embarrassing in a public place. It’s like a dare.

For example, last time we were in Costco (Costco is a large membership only warehouse store that sells just about everything in bulk, for those of you not from around here) I dared him to ask the clerk to gift wrap the 6 cases of soda cans that we were buying for the youth picnic. He did it without batting an eye. On another occasion I dared a co-worker to tell the waiter at the Chinese restaurant that he had forgotten to bring our chips and salsa, he chickened out. The game goes back and forth like that and there is usually a bet attached.

Today at Costco I told my boss after completing his purchase of an umbrella, that I was going to make him ask if the umbrella worked in the snow as well as in the rain since it didn’t say anything about snow on the package. I chose not to use the dare because I wanted to think of something more embarrassing.

Costco has a food booth that sells Polish Dogs and Pizza slices and being near lunch time my boss says, “I’ll buy you lunch if you ask the girl how big her wieners are.” Heh … free lunch. No problem.

So I’m looking for dares that push the envelope without putting us at risk for arrest. If you have any ideas, or can tell me about a dare you once suffered or dealt out just leave me a comment below.

By the way, thanks for being patient with me during the long break from blogging. It has been a busy summer!

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Tags: Just For Fun, Work by Jeffrey
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Vacations can be a lot of fun; a plane trip to a far away place, spending quality time with friends and loved ones, lounging on the beach or around a pool, seeing the sights, trying new foods at expensive restaurants. Or … vacations can be something altogether different.

Mel and I had planned a trip to Florida to visit my good friend John who I only get to see once a year near his birthday. He moved to Florida several years ago and the only year I have missed visiting is the year Mel and I got married. Our trip was scheduled to start this week, actually. We would be on a flight headed to Orlando in just a few days. We had tickets purchased and a rental car reserved, a convertible even. Everything was planned. Everything but the vacation time that is.

I have to bid for my vacation time for the whole year in March each year. It can be very difficult to plan, especially when you have to coordinate with your wife’s work schedule. Add to that the fact that I can’t even remember what I had for breakfast most days and you can probably imagine the disaster that I’m about to describe.

Like I said, my vacation was scheduled for next week … my vacation time scheduled for this week. I did manage to get the plane tickets canceled, but not refunded. We’ll have to plan a trip within the next year to use our $1100 credit with Southwest Airlines.

I’ll write another post later today or tomorrow to tell you what I actually did with the time off. That’s another story.

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Tags: Friends, Vacation, Work by Jeffrey
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I was driving home from work the other night and stopped off at Fred Meyer on the way as I often do. I was still in my work uniform which has the nifty State of Oregon logo embroidered on the chest. I left Freddy’s and headed up the hill out of town. The speed limit up the hill is 45 but I have never understood why. There is nothing on that hill except for a church and a tavern and I just don’t get it. As soon as you reach the top of the hill it’s 55.

So … partly out of habit, and partly out of defiance, I almost always go 55 up that hill. I say almost always because that night I was going 64. How do I know I was going 64? Because that’s what the cop told me.

I knew I was caught and I knew I was in trouble as soon as I saw his lights flashing. He must have been right behind me at the bottom of the hill when I took off from that last light. He got out of his car and I could see his flashlight and the lights from his car reflecting in my side mirror. I had to put my hand up to block the light because it was so bright in my face. I could tell by his walk and by the way he glared at me as he got closer that he wasn’t happy with me.

Then something happened that I didn’t expect. He came around to get a full view of my face and shined his light right on me and suddenly he took about a half step backward and his expression changed to surprise. “ohhh!” he said, “I’m sorry,” and took the light out of my eyes. I was all ready to kiss ass and maybe beg a little and he was acting as if he had just pulled over his own dad or something. “Just slow down a little, ok?” he said and started to walk away. He had seen the emblem on my shirt and just walked away without even asking for my license.

I’ve always wanted to be part of some brotherhood. This one seems to have some benefits. All those Jeep drivers get is a wave, heh.

Technorati Tags: speed limit, 55, cop, speeding ticket, traffic stop

Tags: Driving, Work by Jeffrey
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Mel heard back about the job that she had interviewed for. “Another applicant was chosen” which was disappointing to her, but she still seems hopeful. We will still be moving to the Seattle area, we just won’t be in such a rush. Many of the things that were motivating us to relocate still are factors in spite of this setback. It might actually be a blessing of sorts because it will allow us to be a little more thoughtful and purposeful about the move. I was getting a little worried about having to sell the house in a hurry and possible taking much less than it was worth. Now we can breathe a bit and do this right.

Speaking of the house, my brother Chris who is not only a famous bus model but is also a real estate agent/broker did a “price check” on our home for us recently. It seems the value of our house has increased over $100,000 in the 2 years we have owned it. That is incredible to me and very exciting. It means that if we sell it for near its value we will be able to be completely debt free (I don’t count school loans and car loans since they go on forever) and still have money left for a sizable savings account AND a down payment for our next home!

Finally, I have decide to put school on hold next term while we work all this out. Continuing my education is still a priority for me, but I have learned a few things about myself recently. One is that I don’t manage stress and anxiety all that well, the other is that I function much better in a traditional classroom setting than in a purely online setting. I plan to pursue a more traditional education track when we get to Washington.

Technorati Tags: Seattle, real estate, education

Tags: Home, School, Work by Jeffrey
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tires

So I’m sitting here at Les Schwab in Canby waiting for new rear brakes and I thought I would write a quick post to the blog. It has been over a week, after all. I’m writing from my phone, I’m not even sure this is actually going to work. Tell me if you don’t get this.

I’m actually a little surprised that we haven’t had to get the brakes done before now. We’ve got over 50,000 miles on the Honda. This is my second trip to Les Schwab this month. it was time for a new set of tires last week.

I might as well update you on everything else that’s going on while I’m at it. Here are a few headlines:

School is going well so far this term. I have a few more classes than last term, but so far the load is manageable. I may even add a couple more classes. We have been talking about the possibility of a future move to the Seattle area. It’s still just a thought, don’t get all excited yet. There is plenty of work up there for Mel, and I would probably seek a job at Microsoft.

We are hosting Thanksgiving this year for my family, although my brother and his wife and daughter won’t be able to make it. They will be with her family I believe. I’m doing all the cooking this year again including about 12 pies (they aren’t all for us). I really enjoy cooking so it isn’t really the chore that it sounds like. After dinner with my family we are headed up to Mel’s family for a day to spend some time with them. We really don’t get to spend as much time up there as we would like, that’s another reason why a move to Seattle would be nice for us (except for missing my family, but fair is fair I suppose).

That’s about it, really. Not much going on here. If we don’t see you, have a terrific holiday!

Technorati Tags: brakes, School, Thanksgiving

Tags: Family, School, Thanksgiving, Work by Jeffrey
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We are going through some particularly tough times right now at work. There are a number of changes happening, most of them unwanted and unwarrented. To those of us on the front lines it feels like these changes are being made without concern for how they may affect the people who have to live with them day after day. Morale is very low, stress is very high, and there seems to be no end in sight. Staff, and even some managers, are leaving for greener pastures or retiring at an alarming rate.

On top of all of this, the agency is also seeing surge of difficult youths entering the system. Our youths are always difficult, but what I mean is that their committing crimes are more serious on average, and their personal and environmental contributors are becoming more complicated on average. Mental health issues seem to be on the rise, as well as drug and alcohol abuse. Over the years we have these surges of problem youths pretty regularly. It seems to be some sort of pendulum effect. I have some ideas about what causes these swings, but that is for another post.

Our living unit has a culture that promotes peer and group accountablity. We have a few youths who have done fairly well in their treatment programs and they act as mentors for the newer and younger youths. It’s a system that works well. All of the changes happening have begun to infect the peer culture on the unit as well, however. The mentors are starting to feel the strain and they are still young men with problems themselves.

The other night, one of our mentors came to talk to me as he has done many many times during his stay. He was very frustrated and discouraged about a particular young man in his group who does not seem to be responding to him. Indeed, this other young man is a source of frustration for staff as well. He just doesn’t seem interested in changing. For several minutes I listened as the mentor told me about all the things he had tried to tell this other youth in order to help him, but to no avail. “I’m not making any difference,” he told me.

As he spoke, I found myself thinking not about the problems that the younger youth was having. Instead I found myself recalling the many problems we had with him (the mentor) when he first arrived. He was one of our greatest challenges at that time, in fact. I asked him if he remembered those days, sheepishly he told me that he did remember. I asked him if he remembered people in his past who had tried to help him but he had turned away, again he remembered. He told me that I was one of those people. I asked him if he could tell me anything specific about what I or any other person had said that was the key to him becoming more successful as he was today, but he wasn’t able.

It wasn’t that the things I said to him, or that other people had said to him were not important and helpful. It’s just that these things became a part of a bigger picture and the details were lost. What he did remember very well about me and about others who had helped him was the amount and the quality of time that we had spent with him. In fact, I think this was even more important than any words that passed between us.

He remembered the many hours I had spent with him listening to him without judgement, offering help and advice, and caring for him. I assured him that his time spent with his peers was not wasted either. Even if he never got to see the results, he was adding to a resevoir of positive influence that would someday pay off. They will remember him the same way he remembers me.

Technorati Tags: work, change, Morale, mentor

Tags: Mentoring, Work by Jeffrey
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