5 Years
February 2nd, Groundhog Day, is the 5th anniversary of our first date. I remember it well, and fondly, but I have no idea why Mel decided that night that I was the one for her. Had I known she was mentally ill I might have sabotaged more than I did.
Mel and I were both working at the same facility, she as an interpreter for the deaf, and I as a guard/counselor. We didn’t work on the same living unit, but she had seen me around at different times. I had completely failed to notice her.
We had some mutual friends, a married couple, who had long taken an interest in finding me a date. To make matters worse (better?) my father was also working at the same facility and on the same living unit where Mel was assigned. Between these friends of ours and my father they decided that Mel was just the sort of woman I needed. My father told Mel, “my son needs some of you in his life”. Being completely out of the loop, I had no idea they were conspiring against me to set us up on a blind date. Well … blind to me, not to her. I later realized that I had met Mel once, but had been in a particularly foul mood that day and was actually somewhat rude.
I have always dreaded the idea of blind dates. I assumed that people went on blind dates because if you saw them before the date you would run screaming into the night. I knew that this girl my friends were telling me about would be 350 pounds, 5 feet tall, and “bubbly” (it turns out I was only wrong on one count). But they were very persistent, and promised that there would be beer, so I agreed.
I met Izzy and Dahlia (the friends) at their house before dinner so we could ride together. I arrived a little early and Izzy and I had a couple beers while I complained about the whole event. When Mel arrived I was shocked to see that she was actually quite attractive, although I was right about the 5 feet tall and bubbly part. I began to regret my choice to drink so heavily before the date began, but it was too late.
At the restaurant I started right in by ordering one of those gallon size margaritas. For dinner I ordered the biggest steak on the menu. I did this for two reasons. One was to impress her by spending money. The other was to encourage her to feel comfortable ordering whatever she wanted and I would buy. She ordered a brownie and a diet coke. She doesn’t eat beef, it makes her sick.
The rest of the evening followed suit. We went to go bowling after dinner to find that it was league night and there were no lanes available. We played air hockey and I tried very hard to let her win but still managed to whoop her ass. Izzy and I kept sneaking out to the parking lot to smoke behind the car. We were caught. It turns out that I was the one who gave blind dates a bad name. In spite of all this, she saw something promising and called her mother that night to tell her I was the one she was going to marry.
Groucho Marx said “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”. Luckily for me, that didn’t come to mind when she asked for my number that night.
Technorati Tags: February 2, Groundhog Day, anniversary, first date, the one, sabotage, father, blind date, date, beer, margarita, steak, Groucho Marx
I was chatting in the shoutbox over at blogexplosion this morning when people started talking about strange beliefs they had when they were kids. I remember thinking that when I grew up I could be a giraffe. That is seriously weird, I know. What were some ideas you had?