Why Do I Bother?

Mel comes back this Saturday and I’m sure she is expecting to find a huge mess. She predicted that with her gone I would quickly revert to bachelorhood as most men do when the boss … err wife is away. But I have not devolved into that primitive state. I remain as much a modern married man today as I was one week ago.

A whole week has passed and not once have I worn dirty underwear. I have not gulped milk or juice directly from the carton and placed it back in the fridge. I have not parked in front of the television for days with a case of beer and a box of Captain Crunch. I have not taken to scratching, belching, and farting in public.

In fact, I have accomplished quite a lot without Mel around to remind me of my responsibilities. Let’s see … I have taken down the Christmas lights (yeah, I know it’s February). I have cleaned up the fallen branches in the yard from the recent storms. I have emptied the litter box. I have fed the cats. Hell, I even washed the cats all by myself. I paid the bills. I did all the laundry. I helped Dad with some moving around his place. I ate a can of “Healthy Choice” soup for God’s sake! I can take care of myself for a whole week!

Alright … it hasn’t been all good. I have to admit that I did order a pizza and bread sticks for dinner the other night. I did drink a beer while watching a movie. I have played too many video games and too much poker. I have not shaved everyday. I chose not to shower on my day off. I bought a carton of strawberry Whoppers.

But let’s face it, I do those things when she’s home too.

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Tags: Love and Marriage by Jeffrey
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Mel left this afternoon for her annual trip to Japan. Actually, it’s not to Japan every year but this is the third year in a row that she has gone there.

It is very hard to be away from her. I was telling her via AIM that I find myself wishing that we had about 15 more minutes to say goodbye. Just time enough for a good hug, a good kiss, and some looking into her eyes longingly.

We drove down to Eugene this morning to the airport and on the way she asked me what it was like for me when she left for such a long time. I told her, “the first couple days it doesn’t seem quite real. It’s like you are just away for the weekend. About the third or fourth day it starts to hit me and I start feeling very sad and lonely. The bed is too big, too cold, and too quiet. Then about day seven or eight I start thinking … this isn’t so bad, I could get used to this.” We laughed.

I hate letting her go, but I am also very excited for her. I think it is wonderful that she has these kinds of opportunities with her work. I am a bit jealous. She has earned this. Someday we can travel together.

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Tags: Love and Marriage by Jeffrey
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My brother and his wife cooked dinner for us today, Easter. It was very good. He marinated 3 butterflied legs of lamb in different marinades then grilled them today. I love lamb.

It was also nice to see the whole family together today. That doesn’t happen very often these days. It almost didn’t happen today in fact since I usually work on Sundays, but a fortunate accident made it possible. Saturday I went into work as I always do. I unloaded all of my gear and went to sign in when the person who covers our vacation time off showed up. It was unexpected since I wasn’t aware that anyone was on VTO (vacation time off) that day. He approached me with a confused look on his face and said, “what are you doing here?” It seems that I had signed up for Saturday and Sunday off this week and had completely forgotten about it. It took me about 2 minutes to load up again and get the hell out of there. A bit embarrassing though. I’ve never done that before.

While it was nice to spend time with my family, it was even nicer to spend some time with my wife who has been away the last couple days visiting her family. We went to see a movie, “Inside Man” with Denzel Washington, and came home to eat grapes, drink wine, and play a game of cribbage. Our 3rd anniversary is coming up next month. I am still so much in love with her in spite of the fact that she recently pointed out a new gray hair where there shouldn’t be one. Use your imagination.

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Tags: Easter, Family, Love and Marriage, Work by Jeffrey
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It has been a long week. and it just got started. I usually get about 3 or 4 posts out during the week, but I seem to be slacking a bit this week. Let me tell you what happened.

Monday morning, Bryan and I went to the casino in Grande Ronde. We had to leave town about 8 in the morning because each of us had committments later in the afternoon. The place was surprisingly crowded for that time of day. I’ve never been out there so early, I expected less. We headed straight to the blackjack table as we usually do, but were dissapointed to find that the non smoking tables were not available yet. It seemed to work out for the best though since Bryan and I both walked away quite a bit ahead of where we started. I won $280 over my initial “investment”. Bryan won even more. Nice way to start the day.

blackjack

Monday afternoon I went to Bend to visit my mentee. Luckily my favorite person was able to come along with me to keep me company on the ride. The young man I am a mentor for wasn’t expecting me. I wish I could use his name here so the relationship didn’t sound so sterile, it really isn’t. It was nice to see him and he was pleasantly surprised. We had lunch together and walked around for a while talking about his plans for the future. He’s making responsible choices for the most part. They aren’t choices that I would make, but they aren’t my choices to make so that’s ok. It’s great to hear him talking about the future with hope.

Tuesday Mel left for a job out of town for 2 days. We had to say goodbye in the morning when she left for work. I hate it when she’s out of town. It’s hard for me to sleep well without her. She comes back today, but leaves again to visit her mother and sister this weekend. I have to remember that one of the things I love about her so much is her independence. I still miss her when she’s gone though.

I also learned that the financial aid applications that I had filled out had to be done again. I spent Tuesday morning trying to get that done as well. It seems silly, but here’s what happened. When I filled out the forms there were two options given on the web site. (I was going to use a semi-colon there, but I remembered Vonnegut’s advice) I was asked to choose between the 2005-2006 school year and the 2006-2007 school year. This is 2006, right? So I chose 2006-2007 and filled out the lengthy application that required me gathering all of our tax information and bank account info for 2005. Have you already figured out where I screwed up? I start school in May. The 2006-2007 school year doesn’t start until June. I would have had to fill out both forms anyway, but it was a bit frustrating. I hate to be in a rush to get things done.

Because of my difficulty sleeping alone combined with the start of allergy season, I haven’t been getting enough rest. That leaves me tired and cranky sometimes. I was able to sleep in a bit this morning until almost 8:30 which is unheard of for me. I think it is just exhaustion rather than being restful. At any rate, I feel a bit better today.

So that’s where I’ve been if you noticed that I was even away. What have you been up to?

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Sadly, we have returned from our weekend at Breitenbush Hot Springs. If you live anywhere near this area at all, I really recommend that you take a weekend and go. They have cabins for rent that we have stayed in on other trips, but this year we stayed in a cabin nearby that is owned by some friends. Thanks Keri and Greg!

There are so many wonderful things about this place that I don’t know where to begin. Maybe with the food. Everything is organic and vegetarian. I never dreamed there could be so much variety in vegetarian cooking. One night we had tofu fritters over braised asian greens that were amazing. On another night we had a pear and blueberry puffed pastry that made me wish I had skipped dinner to save room for dessert.

There are hot spring pools for soaking. I love the pools and would make the trip just for them. The place was a little more crowded than Mel and I expected which detracts from the enjoyment somewhat. When the pools are heavily used it tends to stir up whatever organic material has settled on the bottom between cleanings. There’s also the whole “human stew” factor that Mel likes to remind me of. Clothing is optional in the pools, but I have rarely seen anyone choose this option. I am quite comfortable with nudity, but if you are planning on going it is something to consider. There are sometimes children present, although I have rarely seen any children older than about 5 or 6. Mel and I took her mother one afternoon a couple years ago and we wore swim suits to honor her modesty. I have never felt more naked.

The Breitenbush River is swimable in the summer months. It is beautiful and calming to watch in the winter months. The entire Breitenbush Hot Springs Resort is powered by a hydroelectric system in the river, and by geothermal energy. You can get a tour of the facility that explains how everything works. This place is truly off the grid.

There are many trails for hiking in the area, including the one we took into an ancient old growth forest. Breathtaking. I have included pictures below which are beautiful, but do not really do it justice. The picture above is also from the same hike. There is a great picture of Mel in one of the pools, but she won’t let me post it. Go figure.

Mel and I each got a 90 minute massage as well. You have to arrange this in advance, but there are some skilled massage therapists there. If you have never done this, you will not regret it.

The best thing about the weekend however, was the time that Mel and I got to spend together finally. We talked, we read, we held hands and walked, it was a much needed retreat. Even the time we spent sitting near each other and reading was healing and repleneshing for our relationship. I read a whole book in two sittings that I will review in a later post.

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Finally, Mel and I are taking a much needed break from work and getting away for the weekend. This time together!

We are borrowing a cabin in the mountain from some friends and getting out of here. It’s very near our favorite hot springs where we will be spending much of our time soaking and enjoying each other. We will be living exclusively on the organic vegetarian cuisine that is served by the hot springs in their lodge. Exclusively that is except for the cheetos and beer that we are bringing along. On Sunday we both have 90 minute massages scheduled. I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to that!

We are actually getting ready to leave right now, so I must get going. We will be back on Monday afternoon. See you then!

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Tags: Announcements, Love and Marriage by Jeffrey
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