Why Do I Bother?

From The Onion

Remember: It may take a village to raise a child, but, as U.S. Air Force recruiters have known for years now, it takes only one child to raze a village.

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From The Onion:

Gemini May 21 – June 21

No mother should ever have to bury her own child. Sadly, with the little monster shrieking for help and threatening to run off to the police, what choice do you really have?

[tags]horoscope, the onion[/tags]

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From “[tag]The Onion[/tag]”

Scorpio October 24 – November 21

There’s a lot you can learn from your personal failures, the most important lesson being that no matter what you attempt, or how much effort you put forth, you will never succeed.

[tags]horoscope[/tags]

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Just for fun I’m going to start “stealing” horoscopes from The Onion to reprint here. The [tag]horoscope[/tag]s are one of my favorite features over there. If you have never read [tag]The Onion[/tag], you don’t know what you’re missing. I’ll just pick one at random, you’ll have to read the rest for yourself.

Capricorn December 22 – January 19

After days of panic, you will experience relief again this week, when directors at the Bulletin Of The Atomic Scientists realize their mistake in setting the Doomsday Clock ahead for daylight saving time.

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