Your Horoscope from The Onion
From The Onion
Remember: It may take a village to raise a child, but, as U.S. Air Force recruiters have known for years now, it takes only one child to raze a village.
Entries Tagged as 'The Onion Horoscope'
Gemini May 21 - June 21
Scorpio October 24 - November 21Your Horoscope From “The Onion”
Just for fun I’m going to start “stealing” horoscopes from The Onion to reprint here. The horoscopes are one of my favorite features over there. If you have never read The Onion, you don’t know what you’re missing. I’ll just pick one at random, you’ll have to read the rest for yourself.
Capricorn December 22 - January 19
After days of panic, you will experience relief again this week, when directors at the Bulletin Of The Atomic Scientists realize their mistake in setting the Doomsday Clock ahead for daylight saving time.