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Facing Reality
I spent the afternoon with my father today. He has been facing some pretty difficult news about his health over the past few weeks, but yesterday was especially difficult. Dad has heart disease and in spite of a bypass surgery about 6 years ago and a few stints put in a few weeks ago, he is not finding any relief. He is in nearly constant discomfort and is chronically weak and tired because of the lack of blood flow.
Yesterday he was told that short of a heart transplant, there are no more surgical options left. Even a transplant would be unlikely to give him any increased quality or quantity of life since his heart disease would likely return and attack the new heart as well. His doctors told him that he can not ever return to work. He is not even allowed to exercise. Although his doctor did not make any definite prediction about his life expectancy, he did hint that 5 years might be a good guess.
It’s difficult for him to talk about how he feels about what is happening. I wish I could be more of a resource for him in this way. Dad and I didn’t always have a terrific relationship, but for the past several years I have grown to understand him more and more. We have spent many hours together in the shop working on one furniture project or another. He’s my friend now which is exactly what I need him to be. Thinking about his mortality is not something that is new to me, but it suddenly became more real. I’m not ready for this to be real.
I love my dad. I need him still.
Dinner Out
I just returned from dinner with Bryan at Chez Jose’s in Portland. Cassie (Bryan’s sister) and Dan (Bryan’s dad) showed up just before we left. What a nice surprise that was. Cassie is like my own sister and Dan is known to me as “dad”. I was thrilled to be able to enjoy spicy Mexican food and a couple margaritas with no painful consequences for my stomach and throat. These new pills are terrific, but that’s not what I wanted to share with you.
I wanted to share with you how wonderful it is to have such close and caring friends. Bryan has been my best friend for about 25 years now. I tell him all the time, but I don’t think he could possibly know how much he means to me. Bryan is the kind of guy who will drop everything to help you out. At my wedding when the power went out Bryan, my best man of course, was on the phone arranging generators and portable toilets (the church had an electric pump on the well) for all the guests. I remember another time a couple years ago when I was on the way to the airport with my wife and her friend and my car broke down. I called Bryan and limped the car over to his house where we transferred the luggage to his car and he drove the rest of the way. Two examples of the things he does for me over and over again.
Cassie is possibly the sweetest and most genuine person I know. She has the ability to look at you and tell you something from her heart and you feel as if she had been thinking all day about how to make you feel better. If the truth was known, maybe she had been thinking about you all day for just that reason. She always has time for the things that really matter, no matter how full her plate is. She is a beautiful woman inside and out, but I don’t think she always believes it. She should.
Dan is amazing himself. If you knew him you wouldn’t be surprised that his kids are as special as they are. He’s a rock, and I don’t mean the kind you have to sort out of your garden every year. I mean the kind that can’t be moved, that never changes, that you could build a home on. He doesn’t know it, but I credit him with much of the success I have today. Not financial success (although I wish I had learned a few things about that from him too), but the kind of success that you tally in your relationships, in the love you give and receive, and the peace you feel deep inside when you are certain you have done the right thing. He taught me so much about these things, I don’t think I have told him that.
These people and the rest of the Wieden family are my friends. They are my family. I am grateful for each of them and what they have done for me over the years. Apart from my wife, there are few who have given me as much joy.
Thank you!
A New Computer
We got a new computer about a month ago. Actually, we got a whole bunch of parts and I built one from scratch. It was a first for me and I’m pretty proud of it. We have the fastest computer in the neighborhood (probably most neighborhoods) but it turns out we didn’t save as much money as I thought we might. Especially if you factor in the time it took to get the thing working. I destroyed one power supply, but luckily that was the only casualty.
The problem is figuring out how to move about 100GB of files from the old computer to the new one. Most of the files don’t really have to be moved since I can re-install them from discs, but all of our pictures and music had to be moved along with other documents and data files. I spent most of last night and today trying to get it all in place. It’s not perfect, but I think I’m satisfied. The scary thing is the final steps with the old computer because when I remove the hardware from it that I want to move to the new one there’s no going back. Every time I do this I end up forgetting at least one or two programs or files that I can’t live without and can’t get back.
Wish me luck.
Sleeping Alone
Mel was in California yesterday and last night for work, so I slept alone. Those of you who have ever been married know what that’s like. The house is a little darker when the lights go down, the bed is bigger, the room is colder. And the cats are little comfort with their quarreling all night.
She comes home tomorrow night, so hopefully I can get a good nights sleep. Or not … if I’m lucky. Ihope I’m feeling better.
