Facing Reality
I spent the afternoon with my father today. He has been facing some pretty difficult news about his health over the past few weeks, but yesterday was especially difficult. Dad has heart disease and in spite of a bypass surgery about 6 years ago and a few stints put in a few weeks ago, he is not finding any relief. He is in nearly constant discomfort and is chronically weak and tired because of the lack of blood flow.
Yesterday he was told that short of a heart transplant, there are no more surgical options left. Even a transplant would be unlikely to give him any increased quality or quantity of life since his heart disease would likely return and attack the new heart as well. His doctors told him that he can not ever return to work. He is not even allowed to exercise. Although his doctor did not make any definite prediction about his life expectancy, he did hint that 5 years might be a good guess.
It’s difficult for him to talk about how he feels about what is happening. I wish I could be more of a resource for him in this way. Dad and I didn’t always have a terrific relationship, but for the past several years I have grown to understand him more and more. We have spent many hours together in the shop working on one furniture project or another. He’s my friend now which is exactly what I need him to be. Thinking about his mortality is not something that is new to me, but it suddenly became more real. I’m not ready for this to be real.
I love my dad. I need him still.
I’m sorry to hear about your Dad. I hope you both manage to make the best of your time left together. Sending positive vibrations to you both.